It's been a hot minute. I wanted to take the time to enjoy summer and my family, chemo free.
Alot has happened! Where to begin?
December is always a busy time. We got to catch up with family we don't normally see much of during the year and it was like a celebration as it was at the end of chemotherapy so it was very good vibes in our household.
I was still quite tired so spent a lot of time at home resting and regathering my strength in between little social occasions.
January and February was much the same, with more beach visits with friends as my strength started to return and in March went for a little holiday with a good friend of mine. It's been a few great months.
How am I feeling? That's something I get asked a lot. I'm feeling ok. It's been a lot coming out of the chemo fog and adjusting to normal life. There is a lot of "after" affects. Not just for me, but for the family as well.
I'm not sure if it's post chemo or now I've been in menopause for a good 9months but my body has had a lot of adjustments to make. Physically, I will have a massive scar on my stomach forever that is visible. Other physical things are joint pain, brain fog, mental fatigue, mood swings and a whole lot more but I don't wanna bore you. Mentally, there is a lot going on. So Iv been trying to find ways to deal with these things. There's actually a lot I have done but I will blog about those another time.
My hair has finally started to grow back, so eventually I will be able to feel confident without the wigs. But not yet. It's so weird, I look in the mirror and feel like I don't know myself. I always get told, Oh you should just wear your hair out, it's fine. But for me, it's just not me, so until I feel ok about it, I'll wear the wig.
I'm more than happy that I finally have eyelashes and brows again!
Arts turning one this coming week and I have my next CT scan on the same day. This brings up a lot for me, its kind of when it all began. Even tho it began while I was pregnant, I had never thought it was cancer my entire pregnancy, so during that time
I was blissfully unaware. I'm still struggling with feelings like I was robbed of the first year of Arts life, or the fact I wasn't able to be a present mother with all of my children for almost a whole year. I'm also aware that nothing can change that. So in that respect, I keep trying to maintain a positive attitude and appreciate the times I do have now.
Life is good, my children are good, I have great friends and community around, and that's good enough for me. Hoping for a good result from my CT scan and the next few months ahead.
XoXo Ruby
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